I'm gonna just come out and admit it, I have a HUGE crush on late night host Craig Ferguson. It causes me problems sometimes. Often times I will stay up late to watch his show, which is inadvisable if your alarm is set to go off at 4am. I have to make sure my TV is turned off by 10pm, or I'm like a junkie and I'm unable not to watch him. If I fall a sleep before the show comes on, I will come to a full stage of wakefulness the minute I hear "It's a Great Day For America, everybody!" My crush has become a joke among my friends. Me:Yawn. Them: You stayed up late watching Craig again, didn't you. Me: (sigh) Yes. Them: You know you are daft right? That he's married and you'll never, ever meet him? Me: Yes. And that's the beauty of it. He'll never let me down because it's all in my head and that makes him perfect for me. Them: (Shaking head) Meds might help that yanno?
Okay, let's get this straight from the get go. I don't think for one moment that this could ever be 'real'. I'm not going to stalk him, break into his house, put on his clothes and crawl into his bed. I am not a delusional fan that thinks "If only we could meet, he'd know we belong together." In fact, I'm pretty sure that if we ever met in real life, that it would be a huge let down. Not because he'd be a jerk or anything, because I'm pretty sure he's great, but because there is no way he could compare to IMAGINARY CRAIG. The boyfriend in my head that is damn near perfect.
So why do I crush so hard on him? Well.......he's hot, he's got an accent, a great sense of humor, and a cheeky grin. He also reminds me, somewhat, of an older brother of a childhood friend. One that I crushed on, who teased me mercilessly, and taught me how to french kiss. I don't have a clue what happened to him, I lost touch with the friend, but I remember her brother was hot, thoughtful, clever, and wickedly funny. It's a great memory to hold on to! *Give me a moment* ;)
Last night, high on pain killers, due to a horrendous tooth ache, I came up with the idea that Craig would really be my imaginary boyfriend. From now on if someone asks me if I'm involved, I will say yes. My bestfriend and I came up with all of my imaginary boyfriend's attributes. He's a keeper girls!!! We made him sensitive, but not a sissy. Manly, but not a bully. Helpful, but not a doormat. He is smart, well read, creative, side splitting funny, loves to travel and have adventures. Loves the arts, but doesn't mind getting his hands dirty. He loves his family and mine. He fixes things around the house, but let's me do the things I am capable of. He thinks I'm adorable, loves everything I cook, is also a great cook in his own right, gives great massages, especially feet massages, likes to snuggle, is good and adventurous in sex, and couldn't imagine life without me. He's...........well...............perfect!
Today I loaned him out to my bestfriend. Not to hook up or anything, because this is not Big Love and I don't share my men, not even an imaginary one. No, just to ride along with her and keep her company, and kick ass where-ever she deems necessary. He'll make her laugh, cracking jokes in that adorable Scottish accent and tell her that she is the world's second most extraordinary woman. (I'm the worlds first, of course) Then he'll be home before I get home, to have the house cleaned and another gourmet meal waiting. He's the greatest! Can't wait to get home to him and get another foot massage.........how did a girl get so lucky? ;)
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